Betrayed spouses have a lot to say. I know. I had a LOT to say! But there are also many things you want and emotionally need to know from him or her. Even though it would feel so good  to just open your mouth and let all your words and emotions rage on your spouse, and even though you believe to the depths of your soul that he or she needs to hear what you are burning to say, unleashing your fury is a self-defeating approach. Yes, there was a lot I could have said, but I didn’t. When you’re […]

Learning that your spouse cheated on you is one of the most painful experiences you could ever have. But thinking that the marriage may be over can be even more painful. How can you know if the marriage is salvageable? How can you dare to hope that the two of you will recover? There are a myriad of complex factors in every situation. But we have seen marriages recover in the following four situations. You still love this person, even though he or she hurt you. Love isn’t just an irrational emotion. It’s built on something. It’s built on knowing […]

You say you want your spouse to talk to you about the affair. You have questions that you need answered for your own sanity and healing. But it seems like the two of you can never have an adequate or meaningful conversation about the affair. You’re starting to feel like your affair recovery is hindered because of his hang-ups with opening up about it. Are you sure that you aren’t contributing to his reluctance to answer your questions? While you can’t control him and his willingness to talk about the affair, you can assess yourself and determine if you hinder […]

In part one, I wrote about the importance of focusing on being a whole, complete, secure individual (a “one”), before we can ever hope to find intimacy as a couple (a “two”). It is unfair and unrealistic to think that your spouse or your marriage will fix what is broken in you. In this post we will explore how learning these truths applies to 5 relationship scenarios. Application to Singles and Pre-Marrieds If you are single, please don’t move on to adding a two until you’ve gotten a grip on one. You certainly don’t have to be perfect before you […]