Some people are in happy marriages. Some people are in unhappy marriages. What makes the difference? It’s partly the things they do for each other, but it’s just as much the things they don’t do. They don’t keep score. Marriage involves two imperfect human beings living together and sharing their lives together. One of them is bound to let the other one down sometimes. One of them is bound to tick the other one off. Both of them inevitably have habits the other person finds annoying. That’s just the way it is. People have flaws. You can choose to overlook […]

“When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you.” (Psalm 73:21-22) In part one of this post, I identified six emotional states that serve as triggers for “brutish and ignorant” behavior. When I consider times in my own life when I have been “out of my mind,” or when I find myself doing dumb things today that are out of step with the person I want to be, I can usually trace the threads back to moments like these. As I talk to men, I find […]

Do you ever find yourself eager to get to work so that you can talk to your coworker? Or, have you noticed that there is a particular coworker who seeks you out to talk to? Maybe you think about him while you’re getting ready in the morning and choose to wear the dress he complimented you on the other day. Or, maybe you know she’ll be at your lunch meeting and you splash on a little more cologne. Not that you necessarily sought out the attention of this person because you were attracted to him, or vice versa. But somehow, […]

Have you ever done something really stupid? Or do you know someone who has done something really stupid, or who is currently doing something really stupid? I’m not talking about the mistakes, blunders, mishaps, oversights, slip-ups, errors, and omissions that we commit on a daily basis. We all stumble in many ways due to our human limitations. We are all indebted to those who work with us, live with us, and who love us anyway for their grace and patience toward us. I’m not talking about the stupid purchase you made, or how dumb it was to lift that heavy […]