When you break your arm, you know you’re healed when the doctor removes the cast. When you have chicken pox, you know you’re healed when the spots go away. How do you know when you’ve healed from a broken heart associated with infidelity? I’ve listed several waypoints you can look at in your life to confirm that healing has taken place. I hope they will help you gauge your progress toward healing. But first, I want to draw your attention to some factors that do not necessarily confirm that healing has taken place. Time is not a factor. A friend […]

Leisure–what’s that? Hobbies–who has time? Fun–maybe we can plan a week for it this summer? As a functioning member of the world’s population in 2017, there is an extremely high percentage that you feel overwhelmed and under fulfilled with your life. When that happens, it has a huge effect on your marriage and you are very likely to attribute the flaws in your life to your marriage. Take Deanna and Greg, for example. After work, Deanna picks the kids up from the sitter. She takes one to piano lessons and the other to soccer practice. When both activities are over […]

What was your reaction when you discovered your spouse’s infidelity? I doubt “I forgive you” was the first thing that came out of your mouth. Good. It shouldn’t have been. It’s been said that “Easy forgiveness is cheap forgiveness.” If you’re going to forgive someone, you want to do it for the right reasons. You want to forgive with a healthy understanding of what forgiveness does and does not mean. Misconceptions about Forgiveness Forgiveness is not the same as saying that what your partner did was okay. It was certainly not okay to cheat. Forgiveness is not letting him off […]

Every now and then I browse online and enlighten myself about other affair recovery approaches. Every time I do that I come away shaking my head. I always recognize anew that the work Andy and I do is not only needed on a vast scale, but is unique in its approach. My heart goes out to the people that ask questions online and in infidelity forums. My heart also goes out to many of the people who give their opinion about what will help the Betrayed Spouse recover; or on what life after an affair should look like; or on […]

The recovery path after an affair is not a straight line towards marital bliss. For the few months or years that the affair was going on, you probably felt increasingly distant from your spouse. Now that you know what the problem was (Huh-lo, there was another woman in your way!) you are eager for your marriage to get back to normal. You want to feel close again. To reconnect with your husband. It seems like closeness would be the natural result of getting the third party out of the way. It’s just the two of you again now. But just […]