When God created man it is said he formed him from the dust of the ground and breathed into his body the breath of life, and the man became a living being (Gen. 2:7). We each have both physical and spiritual qualities about us. We have that which is made from the dust and we have that which was breathed into us by God. As bipartite beings made of both flesh and spirit, we are still, however, a unit. We are holistic. There is a mind-body connection. In other words, when I am experiencing physical pain, or sickness, or discomfort […]

Resentment. The longer you live the more and more opportunities you have to feel resentment toward someone. It’s a feeling that betrayed individuals are especially prone to. What exactly is resentment all about? Re- means “again.” -Sentment is like the word “sentiment” which means “to feel.” So resentment means to feel again. And for most people, it means to feel again and again and again and again….We can literally have resentment every day until the day we die. Resentment is a hard feeling to overcome because it can make you feel better about yourself. You have been wronged. Because of […]

Do you think your wife is pretty? Do you tell her you think she is? Does your husband provide well for your family? Do you tell him how much you appreciate all of his hard work to provide? It’s so easy to neglect saying the kind things you’re thinking about your spouse. Honestly, it’s easy to forget to think nice things about your spouse after a while. Not because you’re angry with them, but simply because they can become a part of the scenery. You see them, but you don’t see them. Or, they can become like part of the […]

When you break your arm, you know you’re healed when the doctor removes the cast. When you have chicken pox, you know you’re healed when the spots go away. How do you know when you’ve healed from a broken heart associated with infidelity? I’ve listed several waypoints you can look at in your life to confirm that healing has taken place. I hope they will help you gauge your progress toward healing. But first, I want to draw your attention to some factors that do not necessarily confirm that healing has taken place. Time is not a factor. A friend […]

Leisure–what’s that? Hobbies–who has time? Fun–maybe we can plan a week for it this summer? As a functioning member of the world’s population in 2017, there is an extremely high percentage that you feel overwhelmed and under fulfilled with your life. When that happens, it has a huge effect on your marriage and you are very likely to attribute the flaws in your life to your marriage. Take Deanna and Greg, for example. After work, Deanna picks the kids up from the sitter. She takes one to piano lessons and the other to soccer practice. When both activities are over […]

What was your reaction when you discovered your spouse’s infidelity? I doubt “I forgive you” was the first thing that came out of your mouth. Good. It shouldn’t have been. It’s been said that “Easy forgiveness is cheap forgiveness.” If you’re going to forgive someone, you want to do it for the right reasons. You want to forgive with a healthy understanding of what forgiveness does and does not mean. Misconceptions about Forgiveness Forgiveness is not the same as saying that what your partner did was okay. It was certainly not okay to cheat. Forgiveness is not letting him off […]

Every now and then I browse online and enlighten myself about other affair recovery approaches. Every time I do that I come away shaking my head. I always recognize anew that the work Andy and I do is not only needed on a vast scale, but is unique in its approach. My heart goes out to the people that ask questions online and in infidelity forums. My heart also goes out to many of the people who give their opinion about what will help the Betrayed Spouse recover; or on what life after an affair should look like; or on […]

The recovery path after an affair is not a straight line towards marital bliss. For the few months or years that the affair was going on, you probably felt increasingly distant from your spouse. Now that you know what the problem was (Huh-lo, there was another woman in your way!) you are eager for your marriage to get back to normal. You want to feel close again. To reconnect with your husband. It seems like closeness would be the natural result of getting the third party out of the way. It’s just the two of you again now. But just […]

“I had the opportunity and the information and I failed to make use of it. I don’t know what an inquest or a court of law would say, but I stand condemned in the court of my own conscience to be guilty of not preventing the Columbia disaster… The bottom line is that I failed to understand what I was being told; I failed to stand up and be counted. Therefore look no further; I am guilty of allowing the Columbia to crash.” (N. Wayne Hale Jr., Launch Integration Manager) One of the most admirable qualities of creditable people is […]

Everyone knows how to avoid an affair, right? Well yes, it seems pretty clear that you shouldn’t grab a hotel room with someone you’re not married to, but what about before that? What are the basic things you should avoid doing if you want to stay faithful to your spouse forever? I’ve compiled a list for you: Don’t have friends of the opposite sex that your spouse doesn’t know about. Don’t spend time alone (which seems strangely similar to a “date”, right?) with friends of the opposite sex. The conversation may seem like small talk at first, but you will […]