Have you taken a look backward lately? If you’re like me, you hardly ever look behind you at the past. You’re much more focused on how much ground you still have to cover and how fast you can get there–no matter the situation.

But I think it can be really helpful to take inventory of your successes sometimes, especially when it comes to affair recovery. It can be so daunting to look at the future and wonder if you will ever make it to having the relationship that you want to have.

If you take a few minutes to look back at your progress since the affair, consider these things:

  • How your frequency of communication with each other has improved.
  • How your level of openness with each other has improved.
  • How you have been consistent with your efforts.
  • How you have hung in there this long even though it’s been hard.

Perhaps you find that you’re making more progress than it feels like. Perhaps you are learning new things about yourself like:

  • I’m stronger than I thought I was.
  • I work hard for what I want.
  • I keep going in spite of my fears. (which means you’re courageous)
  • I am learning so much about myself.

No doubt you can think of other things you’re learning about yourself too. Take note of those things. It’s important to give yourself credit for your growth and progress. Complete healing and restoration is not always as quick as we’d like, but sometimes we are having successes in ways we don’t even realize.

When you start to lose hope that you will ever recover from the affair, look backward at your progress. When you are discouraged that none of your efforts are making any difference, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you’re a stronger person than you were months ago. Your “old self” may be completely shocked at what a strong and savvy individual you’ve become.

Good for you for all of your hard work! Congratulations on your successes and here’s to your even greater success!