You just found out your friend’s spouse cheated on her. It’s horrible. It’s awkward. Your heart goes out to her. You’re furious with her husband because you love your friend. You want to be helpful, but you don’t know what to say. Here are a few things you should definitely NOT say. “You should totally divorce him!” or “I know a good divorce lawyer you should call.” If you say something like this you are honestly trying to help a betrayed friend through her hurt. You’re trying to help her solve her situation and move past the hurt as quickly […]

“When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you.” (Psalm 73:21-22) In part one of this post, I identified six emotional states that serve as triggers for “brutish and ignorant” behavior. When I consider times in my own life when I have been “out of my mind,” or when I find myself doing dumb things today that are out of step with the person I want to be, I can usually trace the threads back to moments like these. As I talk to men, I find […]

Have you ever done something really stupid? Or do you know someone who has done something really stupid, or who is currently doing something really stupid? I’m not talking about the mistakes, blunders, mishaps, oversights, slip-ups, errors, and omissions that we commit on a daily basis. We all stumble in many ways due to our human limitations. We are all indebted to those who work with us, live with us, and who love us anyway for their grace and patience toward us. I’m not talking about the stupid purchase you made, or how dumb it was to lift that heavy […]