It’s very important for the betrayer to answer all the questions of the betrayed spouse. Having answers helps calm the obsessive thoughts of the betrayed. Being truthful and honest about the affair also helps the betrayer begin to rebuild some credibility. Oftentimes, the same question will be asked over and over again by the betrayed spouse and it’s important for the betrayer to answer the same question over and over as if it’s the first time. This needs to happen for as long as the betrayed partner needs it to happen. There are some good reasons for this, but I […]

Have you ever had the experience of dining at a new restaurant and being completely underwhelmed? Maybe a friend told you how great the food and atmosphere was. She went on and on about the entrees and the exceptional service. Your hopes were really high and you couldn’t wait to order the chocolate mocha mousse she raved about. But the night you visited, you were seated in a dark little corner, the server got your order wrong, your entree was overcooked, and they had just run out of chocolate mocha mousse! You were NOT happy! You had extremely high expectations […]

Leisure–what’s that? Hobbies–who has time? Fun–maybe we can plan a week for it this summer? As a functioning member of the world’s population in 2017, there is an extremely high percentage that you feel overwhelmed and under fulfilled with your life. When that happens, it has a huge effect on your marriage and you are very likely to attribute the flaws in your life to your marriage. Take Deanna and Greg, for example. After work, Deanna picks the kids up from the sitter. She takes one to piano lessons and the other to soccer practice. When both activities are over […]

The recovery path after an affair is not a straight line towards marital bliss. For the few months or years that the affair was going on, you probably felt increasingly distant from your spouse. Now that you know what the problem was (Huh-lo, there was another woman in your way!) you are eager for your marriage to get back to normal. You want to feel close again. To reconnect with your husband. It seems like closeness would be the natural result of getting the third party out of the way. It’s just the two of you again now. But just […]

Your life just isn’t as happy and carefree as you think it should be. It’s your husband’s fault, it’s your husband’s job’s fault, it’s your job’s fault, and it’s your children’s fault. But it couldn’t be your fault, could it? You just want to be happy. You just want love. You just want to be appreciated. You just want to be acknowledged for all you do for the family. You just want a perfect life, darn it! Is that too much to ask for all you do and all you give and how serve everyone else! Yes, yes it is. […]

Do you ever find yourself eager to get to work so that you can talk to your coworker? Or, have you noticed that there is a particular coworker who seeks you out to talk to? Maybe you think about him while you’re getting ready in the morning and choose to wear the dress he complimented you on the other day. Or, maybe you know she’ll be at your lunch meeting and you splash on a little more cologne. Not that you necessarily sought out the attention of this person because you were attracted to him, or vice versa. But somehow, […]